Today has been a long day. I went to bed at 5 A.M. this morning. For some reason I could not sleep all night last night so I did my ironing. Boy what a job. Then I got up at 8 and went to work on the house trying to get it cleaned back up and get ready for company again. I have had some one here ever since Thanksgiving. It is fun but lots of work. Richard is coming back to help me get my trailer fixed. I sure hope he can do that.

I got a message from Sister Jenson today. She sounds like she is doing good. She is working with the LDS Family Service Adoption department. I wish I was young enough I would adopt another child. Maybe I could get it right this time. Maybe I could raise one to love and respect me. I love my family and that is all I have ever lived for but some times I think they don't care about me.

The Lord has blessed me with good health and a lot of good friends so I can't complain. I am Thankful for my Testiomony of the Gospel and the Love I have for the Savior. If I did not have that I don't know what I would do. I guess I would be lost. Sometimes I think I am anyway. I had to prepare a talk and Relief Society lesson last week so I get to rest for 3 week then another lesson. I do enjoy doing them when I have time. I learn more than I can teach.

Got up at 7:00 A.M. this morning. Hoping the sun will come out so I can plow the garden soon. I have to wait until it dries out some. It has rained for 2 days now and it is wet outside.

The world has gone crazy I am not sure how I feel about anything any more. Use to love life but now I am just ready for everything to come to and end. It has been a long time since I have felt like this. Now sure just what is wrong but I sure have gotten down. I guess maybe I need someone to need me for awhile.

I hope the doctors have found what is wrong with Jack so he can get better. Maybe when that happens I will feel better. He sure gets on to me about being depressed.

It has been several days since I have had time to write anything. Melissa came home and was in and out for a week. She did not stay with me much. It seems she thought it more important to spend time at the beach than with me. Oh well her loss is someone else's gain. I had a good Christmas with all the grandchildren. I wish they could have stayed longer. they have grown up so much that its hard for me to believe that they are the same children. I had 6 of the 13 with me Christmas day and until this morning. Robert, Audra, and Joshua are still here and will be until the first of the year. I sure wish they could be here all the time. It is so nice to be able to them when I want to. Robert has grown up so much. I only wish I could make his life easier.

Had our Christmas Party tonight. Lots of food and fun for everyone. I was so tired from all the running back and forth to Pensacola all week that I didn't have as much fun as everyone else did.
Jack has been so sick that I spent all week with him at the hospital. I am still worried about him. I hope he gets better when they do the surgery in 3 weeks. We had a big crowd there though. There was about 40 people there. I know that doesn't like much to some but to Paxton its a big crowd. Marla was there and it was nice to have time to talk to her and spent some quality time with her. Michelle and Joseph were there with all his kids but she did not have hers yet. They will come on Christmas day for a couple of weeks. They are growing so much and I sure miss having them close by. I wish all of my children lived close enough I could see them often. I miss all of them so much.

President Miller read the Christmas story at the party tonight. I was fun.

Today has been very busy. Early this morning Charles and I went to feed the cows and he took a fall. He said he was okay and he got up by himself because I can't pull on him right now. We came back to the house and I went to get a hair cut. I came home and he could not breath without moaning. We had to do to Defuniak to the foot doctor and left there and went to see his medical doctor. Did X-rays and no broken bones but still hurting. We left there and went to Pensacola to Sacred Heart Hospital to see Jack. Spent some time with him and then drove home. Boy am I one tired lady. I really have to slow down or I am going to be in trouble. I got a telephone call from Dr. Dress and she tells me that the pathology report was good for me. There is no cancer. I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven

I had a great day. Megan Brinholt came from Salt Lake to visit for a few day. We went to lunch with Michelle, Shari, and Karen Barrett. What a great time we had. I wish I had someone to go with all the time. I am so grateful for those girls. They make me feel young when I am old and tired. I have to go back to see the OB-GYN doctor tomorrow. I have had a small amount of trouble of which I am sure its the stress. With Jack in the hospital and me going down to Pensacola to check on him. He has finally decided that he has to stay until he finds out what is wrong. I have been really worried about him. I miss having my girls close to me so they can keep me laughing cause I love them all so much. I hope tomorrow is as good as today.

Its the day after surgery and I am still doing good. I have had some trouble with my dizzy head today but otherwise I am good. No pain no bleeding or anything so I feel really blessed. Charles must have been really worried about all this. He did not talk to me about it but I think he was quite worried. He has been really nice all day. I have not do anything except to crochet all day long. anyway I am going to bed soon and maybe I will feel like clean house some tomorrow. I need to vacuum the floor and maybe do some laundry.

Had my Surgery today and everything went well. I seem to be doing really good. I feel good and have not had any problems as of yet. Had a really good time with Michelle and Marla. They can be lots of fun to be around. Michelle can open up and let go with everything when she wants to. I laughed at her today like crazy. As always Marla was acting crazy all day. She keeps some kind of stuff going all the time. I talked to Melissa and she is doing good, was on her way to a ball game. She has loaded her plate with all the coaching. But I am sure she is happy with it. She loves the games so much. I had forgot to tell Letha that I was having surgery but I called and told her I was fine. I talked to Cindy and she sounded good also. So I covered the whole family. I even got a call into Jack. He is doing much better. He went to see Dr. Campbell and got a good report. Thank Heaven for that one. Was really worried about him.

Had a great day. We went to visit some inactive members and had such a wonderful time. I sure wish we could get them back in church. They are such good folks and need the church. It is really such a spiritual thing to go and visit and talk to some one that you know need to come back to the life they once had. I guess because I have been there I know how they feel. The Lord has really blessed me so much that I can't believe that someone can't see that for themselves. I wish you could unzip their heads and put it in there so they would know.

We had guest from Pensacola come by today and stay for awhile. It was great to see them. I have really been worried about Mr. Bill. But he looked good. He is older than Charles and has had a lot of problems, but maybe they are some better now.

I talked to Letha this morning. She sounded okay. Tomorrow is her birthday. I want say how old because it makes me sound old. I am so grateful for her. She has always been such a good girl and such a joy most of the time. I have only had a few problems with her as a teenager. I love her a lot. Thank you Father in Heaven for that blessing.

Today I have just made cookies all day long. I only made 30 dozen . I am going to take them to the inactive members and invite them to the Christmas Party on the 20Th. We have a fun program planned plus we are going to have Smoked Turkey with all the trimmings. I am sure we will have lots of fun. After dinner we are going to have a naughty Santa game for all the kids. They always seem to enjoy that. I think all the family is well tonight. I have not heard from Letha. It seems she was sick yesterday so I hope she is better today.
I helped Charles move a roll of hay and put the peacocks back in the pen. It seems someone left the gate open and let them out. I sure was afraid that they would leave but they didn't. The male sure is pretty.
I am so thankful for all I have and the health that I enjoy. The Lord has blessed me so much. For the last 18 years I have had the privilege of having a lot of Missionarys come to my home and the blessings they brought to my life is undiscribable. They had such a wonderful spirit about them and I will always be greatful for that blessing. I hope some day to see them all again and Thank each one for the part they played in my coming back to church and living a better life.

We went to Milton yesterday and spent the afternoon with Dan. What a brother he is. He help Charles fix a heater and gave us a new one. I guess he would give us the moon if he could get it down. We went out to dinner and had fish at Nichols Seafood it is always great.
Just got a telephone call from Sister Adams her daughter had a 18 wheeler wreck in Utah. She is very worried. I am so grateful that my children are all doing good as for as going to church and live a fairly good life. The lord has really blessed me with great children. They always call and check on me and let me know that they think about me even though they may not love me. (ha)
I need to get ready to go to church. I need to call Jack and check on Joseph. Hope they are better this morning. Have a wonderful Sunday. We had a good day at Church not many there but what a Spirit. Everyone bore their Testimony and just such a sweet spirit. I love going to a small branch. We planned the Christmas Party and we are going to have Smoked Turkey with all the trimmings. What a feast. Had a visit with Jack. He brought me some hay for the cows. They are growing and the girl is about ready for the freezer. Can't wait to have some good beef.
I am so blessed with family. He gave me the cow and she should have cost me close to 300.00 My brother just gave her to me. Jack is about to get well I think. He sure looks a lot better. I was really worried about him for awhile.

Went to the doctor today for my pre-op stuff. Every thing is good and ready so I will have my surgery on Dec 11 at 2:00 P.M. Can't wait to have it done. Talked to my brother tonight and he is doing much better. The Lord has really blest me on this Thanksgiving Season. We went to Ryans for Lunch with some of the nephew and cousins of Miss Clara. Had a really good visit with them. As always they are a fun bunch to hang around with. The more I am around Jerry the more I learn to love him. He sure seems to love Charles protect him. He was such a gentleman that he went in the rain and got the car for us so we did not have to get wet. Thanks Jerry.

December 3

Up early this morning. Richard called at 6:30 to chat a few minutes. He came and spent the week-end with us on the 29 of November. We had a great visit with him his wife Pam and Dean and Merissa. She is really a cute girl. I love having them come and spend some time with me. They came to go to the family reunion with us and to go to the cemetery. We talked a lot about the Young family. Hope I helped him understand things better. Had a great day yesterday. We stayed home and did what we wanted to nothing. I spent some time with Marla and talked to Michelle, Letha and Melissa. So life was good. Just wish I could see them all everyday.