I am very tired. I have worked hard for the last 2 days trying to get this house clean enough and all the laundry done so I can go to the hospital with Jack and not have to worry about Charles having enough clothes to wear. I ironed all day yesterday and today I cleaned and had to go to town to get Charles oxygen. All I can do now is pray that I have it all done. Had to make a big pot of dumplings so he would have something to eat also. I hope he will be okay while I am gone. But I have to go and take care of Jack also. He doesn't have anyone to see that he gets the things he needs. I love him so very much. He is a great brother. I will probably be gone for about 3 days before I can come home. Michelle and Marla Will be checking in on Charles and I hope they can handle everything that he need done while I am gone.

Today has been a good day. We worked. I cleaned house some and worked in the yard. Charles disked the garden. It sure looks nice. I have been working on a flower bed by the back door. I hope to get it finished tomorrow. I have a fruit tree to plant there. I have sure had a time since the tree that was there fell. We had a mess to clean up. I had to go unlock Marla's house for her she had left her keys in the house and could not get back in. I am afraid that she has been taking something again that she should not. I sure worry about her. I pray that she will stay clean. I wish she could also quit smoking.

Had a bad morning. I lost my mothers only sister this morning. She has had a long life but what a wonderful lady she was. I think I looked up to her more than any other woman. I just wish I had been able to see her more often lately. She lived in Brewton and I never seemed to have enough time to get over there. I would have loved to brought her over here and kept her with me.. I only have one Uncle left on that side now and one Aunt on Dad's side. My family is all going away. But I know that is the way the Lord has it planned. I know that Mother is very happy today to her only sister. I sometimes envey them to be able to go and be with the ones they love. Uncle Willie was waiting on her and has been for a long time. Now they are togeather.

Jack has to go Thursday for his pre-op and things so he may not get to go to the furneal. I hope he can but he doesn't like furneals very much. I just hope that he does good with this surgery.

Been busy today. We have tried all day to fix a motor so we could make an electric sausage grinder. I have the sausage grinder but it is sure hard to turn with out electricity. I would like to have it so we can make lots of sausage at one time. Oh well. I think maybe we have it worked out but it sure has been hard to come up with all those things and not have to buy a lot of them. I found a grinder for 100.00 dollars but Charles does not want to spend that much money on one. Anyway if we can get it to work then we want have to buy one.

I went to see President Miller on Wednesday afternoon. I talked to him about the problem with Melissa and he told me maybe I should tell her everything that happened. I can't bring myself to do that. I do not want to be the one to hurt her with all the things that happened. I hope some day she will understand and not be angry with me any more. I love her so very much and she has always been a big part of my life. I love all the kids the same but she was always closer to me seemed like. But I can't do that to her.

Today we have had a busy day. We moved that huge vine that had fell down in the yard. We had to take the tractor and pull it out to the chicken yard and burn it there. Boy what a job. It got all mixed up with the tractor and I thought we were never going to get it off the plows. But I finally did.

Then we built motors all afternoon. Trying to get this sausage mill fixed so we can make us some more sausage. They sure are good and I would love to but I can't turn that hand turn mill. I talked to Sally Edwards tonight for about an hour. She has been really sick. I sure hope she keeps getting better. She lost 26 pounds in 2 days. She had so much fluid that it was killing her. I talked to Letha this morning on her way to work. Such a good girl. I am so proud of all my Children. I hope that some day they will know all the things that I have done for them to help them stay faithful in the church. I want they to know how much I love them and How much the Lord loves them. I am grateful for the church and my love for it. I know that I am here today because of the Love the Lord has for me.

I went to the doctor today. He told me I was going to have to get rid of the stress in my life. I would have to push it away and let it go or it was going to kill me. So as of today I am turning everything that I can over to the Lord and let it alone. I can not keep going like this. I have felt so bad for the last three days. I have been much better today since I have decided that I would not let me bother me anymore. I love my children but they are going to have to live their lives and let me live mine. I can not do things the way they want me to so I will try to do what the Lord wants me to do. I have to take Charles to Dothan to the eye doctor tomorrow and back to Crestview to the lung on Wed. I have gotten to the point that I hate doctor's office's. Oh well Thank goodness that we have them when we need them.

We tried to clean up the old tree stump in the yard that fell over on Sat. Boy what a job. Now I can't hardly get up and down again. I twisted and threw a piece of it in the trailer and I felt it when it hit. I couldn't hardly move afterwards. Oh well again I guess I will learn one day that I can't do those kinds of things anymore.

I went to the doctor with Jack on Wednesday. He was a very nice doctor. His name is Hoddnit I think that is the way you spell it. He sat and explained what all he would have to do and how lone it take. Then he told us that Jack would have to stay in the hospital for 5 days and then he would be out of commission for 6 weeks. I am not sure that will happen but I am going to try to make it happen. He came over today and spent a couple of hours with us. Jennifer was with him. It was great to see her. She is still her jolly self. Jack is suppose to have his surgery on March the 25th. I sure hope we can get it done that day and be finished with it.

I spent Friday afternoon is the Emergency Room because my heart was acting up again. They finally decided that it was stress and let me come home. We went with Michell and Joseph out to eat and come home. I slept all night long and then got up this morning working like a dog. We took down that big tree that was at the back door. Now we have a mess to clean up but we did get part of it. I am sure tired tonight though.

Today was busy. Charles bottom plowed the garden and I tilled the flower bed. Now my back in aching again. I should have know better but needed to do that. Charles was so tired he could not hardly eat his dinner. I think all my trouble is that I will be sore for tomorrow. But we got the garden going and now all I have to do is disk it. Then it will ready to plant. Then come the fun part and that is getting fertilizer and seed. That will cost me a arm and a leg. But we have to get it done. I am just grateful that we have the land to plant and a tractor to do it with. I hope that Shari and Tim can get some planted also. I know they want to have some stuff to put in the freezer.

I Love my family and am so grateful that we are all members of the church so that we know where we are going and what will happen if we live our lives for good. I am thankful that I know that Heavenly Father loves me. If I did not they I would be lost. Thank you Father for all you do for me.

Today has been a good day. Went to church and had a good meeting. We had the Stake President there and the Stake Relief Society President along with their wife and husband. It made a big difference in our attendance. I had to do the Relief Society Lesson because Sister Adams is in the hospital. But we got through it. I was grateful for all the help with it. It makes it so much easier if you can get participation out of others. I hope that Michelle will do next week so I don't have to do 3 lessons this month.She has be good about helping me. They made Joseph 1st counselor in the Elders Quorum this morning. Makes me proud.

They released Shari and Tim so I have lost my best Friend again. Not to death this time but to go to Defuniak Springs. I just love her so very much and she is such a help to me. I don't know how I will make it without her here. She is such an inspiration to me. Lord please take care of her and let her know that I will always be here for her.